You have heard of the quote,
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to drink.”
A few people behind the scenes have asked me;
How do you handle someone who isn’t ready for change?
You may have a family member that is self sabotaging and you can see it, but they can’t.
Or a friend that keeps going back to a lover no matter how big the fight is and you know they need to walk away, but they don’t.
Or your own lover is in a depressed state of mind and you can see what they need to do to help themselves but they just can’t see it.
You have probably been that person to some one else too. I know I have.
I have gone through this so many times, and I still go through this.
It’s hard, I know. Because all you want for them is to be happy but you feel so helpless at the same time.
Maybe you have experience in health and can see they need to change their diet and they continue to eat bad food.
You might of even studied a topic they are challenged by and they STILL don’t listen, even when you have so much knowledge in that field.
I feel you, I do.
What we do wrong though, is get mad at our loved ones. Like it’s their fault they are in the situation.
And you are right, it is some what their fault. However they are so far in it, they can’t see it.
So what you need to do is be the inspiration.
If they spread hatred towards others, continue to spread love.
If they remain unhealthy, continue you to eat great food and move your body.
If they complain about their finances, have good control on yours.
If they stay in relationships that make them miserable, get clear on your own self worth.
You have to BE the inspiration.
You won’t get it right every time. Even recently for me I got frustrated at a loved one because they just couldn’t see what they were doing to themselves and I let them know it.
The amount of times I have let go of controlling someone’s decision and just focused on being the inspiration from a far and they came back to me in time asking for advice has amazed me.
People who I never in my wildest dreams thought they would turn their life around, have come to me and asked for advice on their health, their relationships, their mindset, many things.
It will take one moment, one sentence to allow someone to have a “a-hah!” moment. But you may not be that person that creates that moment.
You know, when someone tells you how great something is and you respond with,
“I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS FOR SO LONG!!”
It’s because they weren’t ready to hear it when you said it. They hadn’t learnt their lesson yet to understand what was going on.
In those moments, be grateful that they finally have gotten it.
They may regret that it took them so long to realise that life is so short not to consider their health, or inner peace, or their addictions, whatever the case may be.
But that’s what life is about. Learning what you need to in this life time.
So, when you find yourself getting frustrated because you just can’t help someone see the obvious.
Ask yourself, what can you do in your life to inspire them from a far?
And go do that.
You can not control other people and their actions. You can only ever control yours.