How I learnt to start saying no to people.

I asked in my Self Love Club Facebook group what is it about self-love my homies struggle with the most.

A few ladies said they find it hard to say no to things without feeling guilty.

My response was, “So, that means you are living out of alignment, correct?”

One beautiful woman said, “I don’t even know what living out alignment means!”

Let me break it down for you.

Have you said no to an event that you reallllyyy didn’t want to go to, because you felt the person hosting it would be disappointed?

Have you kept a toxic person in your life because you were so frikken scared of how they would react if you started to walk away?

Have you eaten something you KNOW makes you feel sick just to not cause a scene?

Have you said yes to selling something of yours, even if it’s on Gumtree for less than you knew it was worth just because you didn’t want the buyer to think you were money greedy?

Have you stayed back at work or said yes to work when you didn’t want to because you didn’t want to piss the boss off?

If you have said yes to at least one of the above, you have lived out of alignment.

In other words, you haven’t been truly authentic to yourself.

There are SO many ways you can live out of alignment.

Basically, when you do something, with a deep feeling in you that makes your soul say, “Bro, why are we doing this? You know we don’t want to. Why did you say yes, okay”?

This is proof, you are not worshipping YOUR soul, and putting other peoples wants (not needs) before your own.

& the funny thing is, you probably get mad because that person didn’t come to your event, or hang out with you when you wanted too… because you did it for them…

People ask me all the time,

“Rhi how do you just turn people down? How do you just let them go?”

It’s simple really, those events, those people don’t raise my vibration. Period. Doesn’t mean they are bad people, I just don’t want that energy in my life.

I have turned how EPIC business opportunities because it didn’t align with my desires.
I have turned down family events because they just didn’t fill my soul.

I would never want anyone to do things to make me happy even when they feel so uncomfortable, so why would I put myself in situations where I feel the same?

It’s the same reason I stopped photographing weddings!
No matter how many comments saying, “well, that’s just rude.”
“Wasn’t it good money?”
etc. etc.

It’s also the same reason I stopped eating dairy and gluten.
At first, I was SO scared to go to gatherings. But now, my response is, “Would you like me to talk to you, or hang out with your toilet?” 😂😂😂

It’s why I don’t go to the gym! Pumping weights isn’t who I am! Long walks and yoga, any. day. of. the. week.

When you let go of the shit that doesn’t feel good. You create MORE FREE TIME to do those things you long to do more of!

So when people say to me, “Rhi I can’t love myself I don’t have time.”

I always start with, “Okay, what do you want LESS of in your life? Get rid of that to make space.”

Declutter the fuck out of your life.

Your house, your environment, your mind, your soul connections, everything!

And fuck what other people think.

If you want more time with your dogs, and less time with humans. Fucking do it.

If you don’t want to go to that wedding. Don’t go!

You are the one building the illusion of fear in your mind! And if they can not respect what YOU WANT IN LIFE, are they really worth having your presence in the first place?

I could go on about this, but the one last thing I will say is.

Because I choose every single day to stay in alignment and be 100% authentic to myself – I am the happiest I have ever been.

If you are not happy, you are out of alignment.

It’s that simple.

So, where are you going to say no more often in your life, to create space for epic yes’s?

 

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