Where in your life do you judge people?
We are all judgemental. We judge people for their beliefs, their character, their choices – are you aware of how you judge? Are you consciously working on minimising the amount you judge?
I am someone who prides my self on how little I judge people. When my clients tell me they come to me because I don’t judge them is by far the BEST compliment I could ever receive.
However, I am here to tell you I am not perfect. I know exactly where I judge people.
I judge people when all I want is them to do and be better for their own selves.
An example of this is a family member who smokes but also complains about money. While I don’t judge the smoking itself (we all have our vices) I judge them for their lack of prioritising their health and wellbeing.
I judge their money choices because I can see how they could get the things they want financially but their choices do not align.
I have judged people in the past for their food choices when their choices are not the best for their health conditions.
I have judged people for staying in relationships that don’t serve them.
It’s not a “you are a shit person for doing that” kind of judgement.
It’s a, “why do you do that? Because you deserve SO MUCH MORE” judgement.
And while my perspective comes across (in my mind) with love. It’s not the best way to approach things.
I share this because maybe you do the same thing. Maybe you judge people because you can see their potential when they can not see it.
While I work on this daily, something I have noticed that helps is:
🌻 Check-in with myself and see if I am doing exactly what they do? Am I not prioritising my health? Am I making poor money choices and could be getting what I want financially? Am I involved in a relationship that doesn’t serve me? (most of the time, it’s a hard yes)
🌻Ask better questions. Ask how I can support them? Are their actions taking them closer or further from their goals? Do they even have any goals?
🌻 Remind myself that I can not change anyone, it’s their choice to change just as much as it’s my choice to change my habits also.
🌻 Focus on my own shit – I am my own responsibility.
🌻 We are all on our own journey. Maybe their lessons have not been learnt yet.
🌻 Check-in with myself and see where am I not happy within my own life. When we judge others, it’s a way to repell our inner critic.
So before you openly judge someone, take a moment to over these things and see what comes up for you.
It takes practice, but it gets easier over time.
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